The Biggest Struggles May Start At Home

It was Morgans Novick’s freshman year of high school. She had so many things to look forward to like football games, the homecoming dance, and participating on her school’s dance team. She couldn’t be more excited for what was to come.

However, on October 17, 2010, Novick’s life was turned upside down. Without expecting it, Novick’s parent’s announced to her and her sister that they would be getting a divorce.

“We didn’t even see it coming at all. It literally came out of nowhere, neither of us saw it coming, my parents played it off because they didn’t want us to know,” Novick stated.

Novick remembers the day very vividly, and explained how her and her sister were watching Halloweentown High, one of their favorite Halloween movies, when their parents walked in.

“We were sitting on the couch, and my parents walked in and told us to turn off the TV. They just got really awkwardly quiet. My sister joked and was like, ‘What, you’re not getting divorced are you?’ And then it got silent,” Novick stated.

Next, Novick’s father pulled put a sheet of paper and began reading a note to them, explaining that they were getting divorced. However, Novick and her sister did not even listen to the note, but immediately ran upstairs, locked the door behind them, and started bawling.

From that moment on, Novick was a changed person. She immediately shut her parents out, and started to bottle up all of her emotions inside of her.

Novick’s mother, Kendra Maggio Novick, remembers this day distinctly as well. Maggio Novick knew her daughter as a smiley, happy go lucky girl, but that all seemed to change when her and her ex-husband announced the divorce.

“Her personality was like a light switch that was switched off. From that moment and for a long time afterwards, when she was home she was very sullen and quiet, and could become infuriated very quickly. It broke my heart to see this change in her that instantly happened,” Maggio Novick stated.

With all of Novick’s pent up feelings, her parents thought that counseling would be a good source for her to let out her emotions, but Novick was not interested at all. Maggio Novick wishes that Novick went however, because she felt that in the end it would have been best for her.

“Morgan did not want to talk to anyone. She pretty much shut down. I do suspect she talked with a few friends who had parents that had gone through divorces too. Still, to this day, I wish she would go and meet with a therapist one or two times, just to make sure any unresolved issues or feelings are adequately addressed and in order to ensure it won't affect her future in any way,” Maggio Novick stated.

It took Novick’s parents a whole year to actually get the divorce, which made it very hard for both her and her sister.

“That year was hard because we were all still living in the same house, but my dad moved into the basement, and they tried the whole custody thing. My mom would be in charge of us for a week, and then it would be awkward because my dad would make us dinner one night, but my mom would come down into the kitchen, and it would just be weird dynamics,” Novick stated.

Once the divorce was finalized, things were still weird for Novick. Her mother and father still lived in the same town, but custody for Novick and her sister was half and half. However, Novick’s sister decided she wanted to stay with her mother more, which ultimately made things more difficult.

“It was hard because her and my mom got a little bit closer, but then me and my dad were closer. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, but in my opinion there was really no reasoning behind it, and so it kind of just made things more complicated with the whole divorce because it made my parents not like each other even more,” Novick stated.

Although Novick did not go to counseling, she was able to find other ways to let out some of her emotions. For instance, a close family friend of hers went through a divorce when he was younger, so she was able to talk to him about some of her problems.

However, one thing that ultimately helped Novick get through the divorce was her sister, her friends, and dancing.

“I shut out my family, my sister was the one person I could go to for anything, and since I shut my parents out I wouldn’t really talk to them, so I was always dancing on the dance team, so I put all of my hard work and time and attention into dance,” Novick stated.

Morgan’s sister, Mikayla Novick, felt that their connection grew stronger because of the divorce, and it was also a way for Novick to let out her feelings.

“Morgan and I became closer because we both believed for the longest time that we were the only consistency in each others lives. We would stand up for one another in disagreements with our parents, even if we didn't completely agree with the argument the other was making,” Mikayla Novick stated.

Novicks’s mother also saw a change in Novick and her sister’s relationship.

“Mikayla and Morgan have always been close, but they developed and even deeper sisterly bond. I think what was hard for the girls is that my ex-husband and I never fought before our divorce, so our announcement of the divorce was a complete shock to them,” Maggio Novick also stated.

After almost four years since the divorce, Novick has been able to see an incredible change in her family dynamics. Since then, her parents have found new partners in life, which has ultimately made them happier. Because of this, they both were finally able to be civil, and today they get along very well.

“My mom and my dad’s girlfriend will go to lunch and dinner together, they love each other. Heather, my dad’s girlfriend, and my mom’s boyfriend Dave, neither of them try to be a mother or father figure to us. They’re there whenever we need them, but they’re not trying to replace the other. They all get along really well. Now things are better, and they’re very supportive,” Novick stated.

Novick’s mother is also able to see the positive things that Novick has learned throughout the last few years.

“I believe she is seeing the benefits of our family unit growing as my ex-husband and I have each found partners who love and adore her and Mikayla. Also, as she goes through her life experiences and relationships, she is starting to understand people change as they age. A person at age 16, 20, 30 is a very different person from the person they once were,” Maggio Novick stated.

According to Mikayla Novick, Novick became a stronger person after the divorce. She learned to never quit and persevere through everything she did.

“I think that when you go through something as life changing as this, especially at an older age, it changes your perspective on everything. She has become stronger, and more independent since the divorce and I also think that she now more than ever considers how her actions have an effect on people's lives and that her actions can positively and or negatively impact someone,” Mikayla Novick stated.

Novick learned a lot going through her parents divorce, but she finally feels that her family is happy again. Although it may not have ended up how she originally thought it would, she feels that her family is finally at peace.

“I think they generally started to respect the other person again, they’re both with someone else now, living with someone else. I can tell they’re both happier, so I think since they’re both happy and they appreciate each other more. Now we’re all in such a good place.,” Novick stated.